This week’s installment of my terrible middle school book needs only the shortest introduction: that escalated quickly. The rest is better left for you to experience without warning.
Chapter 6
Later at lunch we all sat with Julia and tried to make her feel better.
“You’re not going to feel any better if you don’t eat.” Jenna said.
“I don’t care!” Julia snapped. Just then Karen walked by.
“Surprised you didn’t get hypothermia.” She said.
“At least you don’t even have to worry about getting a small cold if you step outside.”
“Why?”
“You’re so fat you can’t even hide under the largest puff coat.” I said. The whole table started laughing as usual.
Haley was this weird combination of myself and an ideal self. So she was this skinny popular girl and real me was neither of those things. This is how that all came out lol. I also had an irrational hatred of puffy coats.
“Just you wait until I plot my revenge on you! All of you!” Karen shouted.
She’s getting ready to speak to the manager.
“Is that supposed to scare us?” I asked sarcastically. Karen just walked away.
“Do you think she meant it?” asked Jenna.
“With her intelligence I don’t think so.” Kathy said.
“You know she kind of sounded like one of those evil doctors in the movies.” I said.
Astute af, Haley. Astute af.
Later that night it was dark and cold.
Everyone was asleep.
It was midnight when Karen got out.
**radio voice** Gooood evening, everyone. This is Karen
She was wearing a black puff coat and hat. It started snowing.
So now, Karen’s transformation into everything I hated when I was 10 is complete.
“Perfect.” She said as she climbed through the window of my bedroom.
She put me on a hammock and set me on the ground outside. She did the same to Jenna, Laurie, Kathy, and Julia. It was below twenty degrees that night.
Joke’s on you, Haley. Karen can deadlift more than you ever will.
But seriously. Think about all this effort Karen went through. She had to find all of their addresses, get dressed, climb up into their bedroom windows, carry them back down, and leave them outside. No wonder Karen asks for the manager now. She already did so much work!
In the morning I heard my mother calling.
“Haley Springer what do you think you’re doing out here!” She shouted.
“What are you talking about?” I asked. I looked around. Everywhere there was snow.
“Well young lady?” My mom said in anger.
“I don’t know.” I said.
“Oh my god!” My mom shouted.
“What?” I asked.
“You y-you–
“I what?”
“You’re blue!”
“What?”
“You must be freezing! Come inside right now!”
“What’s the big deal?” My mom put me in front of a mirror.
“I hate to say this but you’re right.” I told my mom. She started crying.
“You are not going to school today until you turn a normal color.” She said.
I looked in the mirror again. I was dark blue. I started to feel tired. Then I fell to the ground. My mom rushed me to the hospital. The same thing was happening to Laurie, Jenna, Kathy, and Julia.
Did I care whether these were the actual symptoms of hypothermia? No. We barely had Google in the 2000s. My references were Degrassi and random health documentaries on TLC.
See? See? Karen is bad because she got tired of unprovoked bullying and deadlifted her enemies out of their homes to freeze in the night. Classic evil movie doctor origin story.
Did your early cringe writing have an overreactive antagonist origin story? Drop the best-worst excerpts in the comments!