Several months ago, I watched the first season of The Witcher and the thing that hooked me most in the first episode was this vibe I got from Geralt of being this intimidating figure who is actually very sensitive to the way people treat him.
Geralt does not do well with emotional connections, but he knows what it’s like being treated a certain way because of what society believes about his kind. Witchers are both revered and disdained, which forces Geralt to be intimidating and keep others at an emotional distance. He is very used to people only treating him well because they want to benefit from his Witcher skills, but they will demean him at a moment’s notice if he angers them. But the few people who do choose to be close to Geralt get the benefit of his lowered guard, his loyalty, and his honor. Geralt has forged a defense mechanism and a morality based on his experiences as both outcast and accepted. So his tough exterior, soft soul nature has extra layers to it that I can relate to.
I have a very serious natural facial expression. I’ve been told many times in my life by good friends that when they first started getting to know me, they thought I hated them. It can take me a while to warm up to people or open up in new social situations. So like Geralt, I definitely have this stoic front I can put on to guard myself.
Going a bit deeper, society’s “what are you” treatment of Geralt in some ways hits my experiences of identity. Several of my key identities are things society deems as contradictory (even though society is wrong): gay and Christian, and Latina with whiteness are the major ones. In another essay, I might explain further my personal usage of “Latina with white privilege/whiteness” vs “white Latina,” but I’ll note here that it’s part of letting a part of my identity that was suppressed/denied breathe and come first in how I understand and talk about myself.
Anyway, the “what are you” moments I’ve had in my life are pretty minor compared to mixed folks who really present in a way that makes people ask all the time. I’ve had that question asked of me, but never with that foreboding sense that the asker wants to tell me which country to go back to or anything like that. I’m not necessarily marginalized because of how my mixtures appear either. But there is that sense of feeling I don’t belong sometimes or of having a reality that most people just don’t really see. There aren’t a lot of Witchers around for Geralt to interact with, so he’s isolated from others who understand his exact experience. It’s a particular kind of isolation that I’ve felt at times that I see Geralt feeling and that’s the part I connect to.
Geralt also takes his integrity very seriously. That’s another part I relate to. Integrity is a deep value word for me, a way that God actually told me to act years ago when I was struggling with identity stuff. So Geralt’s sense of integrity and morality appeals to me, especially when he deals with the targets of his jobs. I’ve really enjoyed watching how he handles every situation and am looking forward to season 2!