Today in my awful middle school book, the cast spends the entire chapter consoling Julia, but Julia is determined to cancel everyone.
Chapter 5
The next morning I tried talking to Julia on the bus.
“Come on Julia it’s not the end of the world.” Laurie said.
“Yes it is!” Julia shouted.
“Look just because your heart is broken doesn’t mean you should act like a goober.” I said.
Haley, why are you like this.
“I could care less if I’m acting like a goober.” Julia snapped.
“But we don’t want you to be a goober.” Jenna said.
“Yeah, if you become a goober your only friend would be Karen and she’s lower than a goober.” Kathy said.
For hating Karen so much, these girls bring her up literally all the time.
“Ok so I won’t be a goober but I’m still mad at you.” Julia said pointing to me.
“Me! It’s not my fault Ryan likes me. I mean how am I supposed to control his feelings?” I shouted to Julia. She didn’t answer.
“Ok you have a serious problem.” Still Julia didn’t answer.
Haley, you’ve been BLOCKED.
“Laurie, tell Julia that she’s being stupid and spazzing out.”
“Julia, Haley says that you’re being stupid and spazzing out and I couldn’t agree more.”
When we got off the bus we tried to make Julia feel better.
“You’re overreacting, you’re being weird, and most of all you’re being stupid.” Kathy told Julia.
Kathy’s not holding back!
“Kathy I don’t think that helped too much.” I said.
For once, Haley is sympathetic. This is the only time this ever happens.
“We’ve got a major problem.” Jenna said as the bell rang. As we were going up the stairs it became real crowded. We ended up standing behind of course none other than Ryan and Tyler. Jenna and me froze.
“Don’t do or say anything.” I whispered to Jenna. It was really too bad that Ryan and Tyler knew our voices anywhere. They turned around their eyes wide.
“Haley! You’re alive!” Ryan exclaimed.
“Yeah, yeah alive and well and late for class if you don’t get out of the way!” I said.
“But I mean it was like two degrees outside last night.” Ryan said.
“Yeah so.” He hugged me.
“Down boy!” I said. I struggled out of his arms and ran to class thinking:
That was nasty, but unfortunately usual behavior for him. I feel so bad for Julia. Especially when he hugged me. Even though I would feel bad anyway if he hugged me.
This entire exchange is a whole mess of girls putting up with boys’ inappropriate behavior while that behavior is portrayed as comedic.
“Darn it!” Ryan shouted to Tyler. But that was only the beginning of the strangest days of Jenna’s, Julia’s, Kathy’s, everyone else’s lives, and mine.
Look at me! I learned how to list items in a series using commas!
I know 10-year-old me is doing a lot of very obvious and ominous foreshadowing, but things actually do get very weird and very cringey in later chapters.
Does your cringiest writing have creepy boys and friends being extra mean to each other? Drop your best-worst gems in the comments!