A while back, I found out about an upcoming tone-deaf thriller film that takes place in Puerto Rico during Hurricane Maria. Naturally, this film features white tourists in a hotel and Puerto Rico during this natural disaster is just an exotic, dramatic backdrop. The film is out now and appears to be bombing, which is great, but this whole thing made me want to revisit Puerto Rico Strong, a comic anthology that was created to directly support hurricane relief efforts in Puerto Rico.
I was happy to buy this anthology a couple years ago and read it, but I assumed I wouldn’t connect to any of the stories because I didn’t grow up constantly surrounded by Puerto Ricans or Puerto Rican culture. So when I did see some exact experiences I had, I almost cried because it made me feel like I actually counted as Puerto Rican. So here are some of the stories I related to.
Stories From My Father
The character heard about Puerto Rico growing up as this magical place, but she feels like a foreigner when she goes there. Big mood. When I’d go to Puerto Rico in my younger years, I felt I didn’t really belong there. Now when I do, I feel less that way because I’ve been working on owning this part of myself, but I still have a lot more reconnecting to do before I can go there and not feel like a foreigner.
Fajardo
The main character notes that the older her daughter has gotten, the less interested she is in her culture. I went through the same thing as a kid. Before high school, I felt secure and proud in my identity. Middle school started to wear that down, especially as I learned public school Spanish and it didn’t help me at all in communicating with my family. Because my Spanish was bad, I was too embarrassed to speak it and no one understood me anyway when I tried. But in my adult life, I’ve swung back because if I don’t actively connect to Puerto Rico, my whiteness will gladly fill that space again.
The Dragon of Bayamón
Juli is sent to Puerto Rico to live with his father and cousins for the summer. When he first gets there, he says that his family did what they always did and he did nothing. He also barely understood anything because everyone spoke Spanish and everything was in Spanish. Very relatable. Big mood. I can remember many trips to Puerto Rico after I’d given up on learning Spanish (even though I studied it for five years) where I spent time alone reading or playing video games while my family all talked to each other. Because I couldn’t understand or keep up with the conversation, I didn’t see much point in sitting out there. I’ve changed this attitude now and will sit with folks, even if I only understand half of the conversation, but it is always a conscious choice to be present and simply accept the wavering experience of my understanding.
Taino Online
In this comic, the main character’s mother randomly calls her up one day and says “By the way, your great grandparent was Taino.” I literally had a similar phone call with my mom once where she said “your abuela’s father was probably Taino.” I’m not 100% sure if this is true, since my mom says he could’ve just had darker skin from working outside all day, but that’s the story she got from the family. Even so, it was such a weirdly specific coincidence to have had that conversation with my mom and then read this comic. Also, the comic says “Taino wore their hair in bangs.” That’s how my mom wears her hair and how she had mine styled until high school when I said I wanted to grow them out. This is probably not an intentional connection since anybody can have bangs and that doesn’t make them Taino, but that hairstyle was the only way I got my hair done for years and it’s the only way my mother wears her hair.
Puerto Rico Strong is a great anthology and the first time I read it, I was so pleasantly surprised to see some of my experiences because I honestly didn’t think I would. I’m glad that I was able to have some personal connections to it because it helps solidify that this is something I should live into more intentionally than I have in the past.